I love the South

I went day-after-Christmas shopping in short sleeves because it was over 70 degrees but yesterday my northern relatives were telling me about the weather in Chicago. They made it sound like the innermost circle of Dante's hell, except windier. I've never seen more than 3 or 4 inches of snow but I'm going to Chicago in February for AWP.
Oh, help me Elvis, help, help me Elvis.