Taking a break

In May of 2007 I graduated from a county high school in a class of less than 50 students and moved across the state for college.
In September of 2007, I took my first fiction workshop course. A week later, I was a marketing major/creative writing minor.
In January of 2008 I started working as a financial aid counselor in a high school guidance office. I quit on a Friday in April and on Tuesday morning at 6am, I landed in Zurich, Switzerland. It was my first time to leave the country and my first time to travel without my family. I spent a little more than three weeks in four countries on a creative writing trip and wrote my first two poems, both of which were unrescuably awful.
I returned in May of 2008 and dealt with a lot of emotional drama.
In June of 2008, I started working at my neighborhood Drive-In.
In July of 2008, my previous employer offered me a better job. I quit fast-food and started telemarketing again as well as regular office work, 40+ hours a week.
In August of 2008 I moved back to school and started working as a literary publicist. The funding fell through and I did it all on my own dime, both myself and the author I represent mostly figuring everything out on our own, stumbling blindly.
In August of 2008 I also started writing a novel.
In August of 2008 I also formed a writer's organization and got it chartered through my school.
In December of 2008 I finished my horrible novel.
In December of 2008, I started telemarketing again on my winter break, 40+ hours a week, as well as continuing my publicity and marketing job.
In January of 2009, I was paid for the first time for doing my job. I also had more emotional drama and quit blogging.

From March 6th to March 13th I have done everything in my power to become a ghost. I have kept up with my RSS feed, I have maintained contact with my author's and taken care of pressing tasks, I have answered emails, I have organized spreadsheets and cleared out links, I have written creatively and professionally, I have read assigned material, I have even reviewed a friend's work. But all at the most minimum of requirements, or actually, at the maximum of my tolerance level.
Mostly, I have rested. I have slept during the day for the first time since...August? Maybe? I have tried to do only what has strengthened my body and my soul. I have put aside the to-do list and done what was wanted and what was needed.
I might have been better off in the future if I had knocked out more of that list. There's a very good possibility that I will collapse next week since an excess of scheduled events are aligning on top of my regular work.
However, I feel so comfortable and so rested and so content with myself, that I do not care that I never got around to reading my stack of books on religious psychology or started outlining my next novel. I have taken a true break for the first time in 15 months and it was worth it.

Tomorrow, the to-do list begins again. Tonight, I will again read until my eyes collapse and I drift to blissful sleep.

The "C" word

CHANGE, not that other word you adults were thinking of...

Changes are needed, changes are unavoidable, changes are often beneficial in the long run and should be appreciated. But I am a stubborn, headstrong person who has a system for everything and generally resents change. I've had a lot of changes in my life recently and everything's a lot more uncertain now, and I'm having to adjust. Part of the changes I'm making is becoming more aware of myself and my surroundings. This is facilitating my creative nonfiction writing, but it's something that will be helpful when I return to fiction also.

But it still took my roommate's inability to sleep to the sound of my typing (I have 18 writing assignments due in the space of 8 days) as a catalyst.

Every day I have spent in this particular dorm complex (almost 2 academic years now) I have spent some amount of time typing on my laptop on my desk by the ethernet connection. When I was taking my novel workshop class, it was close to 3 hours a day. Every day. Same spot. I have spent time writing in other locations, but usually out of necessity, not by choice. The desk is in the most advantageous spot for research and minimal distractions. Because I share my bedroom, it is also one of three spaces I can truly claim as mine.

So yesterday I disconnected from the internet (gasp!) and went into the living room to write a press release. The simple change of venue from the lightless, silent bedroom, to the soft grey morning sun and wide couch made me feel much more open and eager to finish the project.

I did the same thing again this morning, so hopefully I don't turn one rut into another, but it was a simple test of mindfulness and an affirmation that not all change has to be fought.